So if you don't know me, you'll soon find out that I'm a NEW transplant to the one and only LOS ANGELES, CA. City of dreams. City of sun kissed bodies. City of tech (well in the "valley" so i'm told). City of ridiculously expensive real estate. City of perfection. City of perfect bodies. Perfect. Just perfect for me, i'll fit right in. Hubby and kids in tow, we set out to discover the West Coast. 

Discovering means looking for EXACTLY what you need. or want. or both. I dove RIGHT into chaos. Loving the traffic (not the screams or snoring in backseat aka no nap at home). Loving the beach (i've always dreamed of living at the beach. And this one is particularly spectacular). As NEW tourist in this crazy city, we set off every week to discover LA. I can confirm there's LOTS to see, do, eat, smell (good and bad), and all must be done before beating traffic home. 

I know everyone is DYING TO KNOW THE TRUTH. You won't be disappointed. Let's get to it:

Confirmed revelations in LA:

1. BEAUTY. People really are more beautiful than ANYWHERE else. The only exception might be Nice, in the south of France during the Cannes festival (event in which all the celebrities from here go there… duh). This town may not be full of natural beauty, but still full of beautiful people. 

2. IN SHAPE. Everyone is working out everywhere. By everyone i mean, 9 months pregnant 43-year-old-mama doing stroller class, 79 years-old grandma with bad hip doing taychi, and of course 1 year old doing yoga. ALL at the same time. It turns out people do workout SEVEN DAYS A WEEk. So there's no excuse really. Perfect for me. 

3. TRAFFIC. Traffic really is the worst… Sorry ATL, Paris, NYC, you lose. LA is the REAL winner. 

4. CHEESE DIP. There's no cheese dip in Mexican restaurant. There are millions of Cantinas, no cheese dip. When i say million, i mean literally a million mexican restaurants. So me and my people should fit right in, given our LOVE for mexican. So back to the cheese...Yes this was DEVASTATING to my oldest who basically lives on cheese dip, beans, rice, and avocado slices. It took a day trip to Huntington beach to find out this town was keeping it all. It was glorious. She may have cried she was so happy (or tired. not quite sure). 

5. BLONDES Blondes do rule… agh. As a brunette, i never lose an opportunity to promote my kind, but I'm losing by ten of thousands here. I'll accept it in 2 years. And no worries, there will be NO transformation of any kind in regards to color. A brazilian blowout maybe, but I'm sticking to what works for me. And my husband will divorce me if i go blonde. Another reason to stay with the brunette look. 

6. SPEED. California has the reputation of calm, go with the flow, keep it cool attitude. Well i guess it either doesn't apply to LA. Or doesn't apply to the road. MASSIVE ROAD RAGE GALORE. I'm talking getting-out-of-car-at-stoplight, or knocking/beating on cars with your fists or simply spitting series of cuss words in any directions. Of course all this when my windows are down, and sunroof open. This becomes a teachable moment: yes child you don't do that. and yes child i have no idea where this comes from. yes child, don't tell your dad. 

7. CARS. Land of beautiful people in their beautiful cars. Specifically only certain brands FLOOD the streets : Lexus, BMW, AUDI, Infinity, Mercedes, and of course and most importantly ferrari, Maserati, and many cars that look like they cost more than our rental house. Of course, i'm told many of these are LEASES. My Honda sits quietly and patiently in traffic, and i won't have coronary when someone takes out the garbage can with my car. Not naming anyone i'm married to… Tough owned cookie shall survive the next 2 years. 

8. Antiseptic pumps: they LOVE antiseptic everything. It's freely available everywhere. Grocery store, gas station, moms' group tables, park… If you can physically get there, antiseptic dispenser is there… And if not, there's a stroller close-by with a pump attached. Or it's the ginormous homeless population creating the frenzy of antiseptic availability. 

I'm sure this list will grow but that's all i got folks. Month in, 8 news-shattering discoveries! What did i miss...